w0rthwhile.-

Monday, January 29, 2007

i have never in my life feel so complicated, confused and blur.

torn

Saturday, January 27, 2007

hello!

hmm. wasnt able da update for the past few days though i really wish i could. many things happened. mainly the scap. im appointed to be the scap welco head. along with Nina! yeahh! n im going to watch the match between Singapore n Malaysia later! there is only like ard 5000 tickets left. so people. cab to kallang now! support our lions.. have faith in them ! jiayou!

okays. have been busy for the past few days bcoz of this. had to plan for meetings? n alot more for the orientation2. but im loving these! the pressure on myself is back.. im not tryin to say im good. but these pressure just allows me to get better. people. think about this honestly. dont u think the days of preparing for o's are so like hmmm. fun? at least you have an aim. you dont do things aimlessly. you dont slack or rot away with your friends. you'r workin so hard for yourself. for a result that allows you to go wherever you want to go.. doesnt that just feels great? that is the case for me! i mean.. cos i've been spending most of the time wandering about. not doing what im suppose to do..

lets talk about welco. our main task for now is basically to plan out the programme schedule for o2. we'r under progco in o2 comm. guess its the most fun comm in o2 le. at least to me. n our nxt task would obviously be the sanctuary. yeah! we'r gonna b in charge for the most loved place in school. at least to me! tat sounds easy doesnt it? people u'r wrong. there's soo much to do.. but nvm. scap welco will strive n be the best comm! woohoo.. work hard people!

was super emo on thurs night. was suppose to be happily shopping n walking around with someone. but end up. it wasnt to be happy. had to choose between scap n 'odac' again. it isnt the first time. scap has a meetin on fri, 4pm. n welco meeting, 6pm. after which we were suppose to have a welco dinner. but at the same time. i signed up for the cycling expedition organised by the odac. im suppose to reach east coast park at 645. that would mean i have to skip all the meetings n welco things. but Nina n Shawn was ill on thurs. both of them didnt come school. i cant possibly leave all the jobs to 2 ill person right? tat wuld mean that i have to choose scap n not go for the cycling. but think about it.. isnt it very, super n extremely irresponsible to tell the odac people tat i cant make it for the cycling trip on thurs when the cycling trip is on fri? thats what i felt. so i din know wad to choose. i was stuck in between. called shawn n asked him about it. but he was still ill n he was on his way to c the doc. so i took out lots of courage n called siewhuey. n really a big thanks to her. she 'allowed' me to go for scap. i use allowed bcoz i duno wad to use. i chose scap before odac. again. im really very sorry! i really tot i culd enjoy this cycling trip while carryin on my duties. im sorry.

challenges always spurs me on. but is that too big a problem for me to solve? especially when im still so new to all these? sigh.
n siewhuey. thanks. alot..

hey girl. while the both of us recovers from our 'culture shock'.. i dont know what i should say to you. thanks alot for what you've done on 25january2007 ! its really more than enough just to be beside me. i really appreciate that. i probably wouldnt be as calm if you were not around. and on 26january2007 in the afternoon. i meant everything i said. i really mean it. i know there was jokes in between.. but thats just me. without all my crap, jokes n idiotic things.. Andy wont be what he is today. though he still isnt much. at least. he's gowing. take your time. its your choice. there is nothing i can force you to do. you are really the surprise in my jc life. i really thought i wont fall into this again. somehow. im getting in again. guess its because its you. yeah. i never thought that those few sms will get things done. will get things sorted out. i know it has to come with effort. take your time....

torn

Monday, January 22, 2007

halo !

okays. kinda long nber update. wanted da update ytd. but was too tired. played 3hrs of soccer at lam soon last night. it feels so good just to kick the ball ard n run like mad. it really feels good. im like liking lots n lots of stuff ever since i got into pj. im startin to like takan session. due to odac. haha. its fun alrite. im startin to like running. especially with the tracks in sch. how can we miss out on tat. so yea. likes the takan session. pumping. sit-up. crunches. jumping jacks. wadeva wadeva.. its so.. fun n enjoyable. okay. its tiring. but its fun ! a good physical work out. n u'll definately feel v satisfactory after accomplishing all u hav done. i duno wad word to use so paiseh ah.. haha.

so yeap. im in scap now. tat is student council attachment prog. it will hav no effect or wadsoever towards jae's council. for now. we'r just like attached to the current batch of councillors. i'll get to know wads my position on wed. i applied for head of welfare. haha. n vice pres. wish me luck people! hehe.

been seein couples nowadays.. rahh. feel so lonely. n i see them whenever im like alone can.. so idiotic. booooo! nvm nvm.. im going to study hard? dun laugh okays.. im going to achieve that. hehe. with the help of someone. lol.

oh yar. im startin to hate myself. i cant seem to make myself wake up during lectures. i'll olwaz. fall asleep. i really tried to stay up okays.. but i duno y. i'll olwaz doze off in wadeva position im in. so idiotic can.. rahh! i must stay awake!! urghh..

n this goes out to the dunearn bball teams. play hard n win alrite. JIAYOU. fight fight fight !! get a medal people! jiayou.

take care.

torn

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

hello people.

crap + idiotic + damn = TODAY !!!

urghh. its such a bad day la. first i fell aslp at my chem lecture. n again in my maths tutorial. after school had odac trial. wanted to join both for 3mnth. den c how it goes when i officially enter pjc. but now. im suppose da choose between scap n odac. this is definately not going to help me to hype up myself please.. but i guess i'll be choosing scap bahs. its all the planning of events n leading that makes me now. so yar. going to continue all these.

scap interview wasnt as smooth as i thought it will be. i was stunt. fire coming out from my mouth whenever i go 'hhaaaaaa'.. n the cheer at the last. omg. im sure i look like a clown. even the teacher laugh can?! rahh.

enough of todae. its irritating.

y didn't it rained longer.. i need the rain now. sigh.

bye.

torn

Sunday, January 14, 2007

hey people.

hmm. was raining just now. n i got a little emo. so this is gonna b quite an emo post. it'll be quite sian. so u can skip this entry.

err. was thinkin bout the word unwanted n un-needed. i think both of these doesnt even exist. but whatever it is. n while i was thinkin. it came to my mind that i actually fit right into this 2 word. it seems to me that im always the extra. the odd one out. im always the last to be called out n stuff. maybe its my freakin attitude. people. i know i dun have a good temper. but its just that i cant control it sometimes. its in my genes. my parents n both my sis hav bad temper. but i duno y.. mine is more prominent. im always the one losing cool n crapping all over. as if the whole world owes me money. i always regret after that okays.. especially darr kia. my temper seems the least to him. i duno y. after i hung up. i always feels sorry. i really am alrite. but i duno how to apologise especially when it is done. dun cry over spilled milk?? yup. but im tryin my best now to learn alrite.. just like what i told fahrun. i'll learn to be patient ! not everything in this world will go your way. we just gotta make the best out of what we have.. complaining wont change things. it'll just make matters worst. i gotta get this right into my head!

i think this is not the first time im sayin all these. but it just doesnt seems da get into my head. so i think i jsut gotta repeat it all over again n again so that i will really change! these shortcomings ( is it this word? ) is really causing me alot of problems. its somehow the barrier for me to make new friends? i duno how to say it. its something lidat de. my english need improvements! damn. i guess im just dumb. nothing seems to make me understand stuffs. im still the small young kid i use to be. totally rely on other people. when can i learn to be independant?! i need to learn that fast. i think i need to find some time to eat alone outside myself. buy things i need myself. sigh. its never to be.

im gettin quite random. whatever. gotta go. wanna start doing my physics homework n revise a little on my math. din really pay attention to the lecture the other time.

am i really going to a junior college... will i be able to handle it?

bye.

torn

Saturday, January 06, 2007

hello !

wooohooo! soo long not here le. im sure my blog been missing me. haha. so here i am!

blahs. this is the first after my pae. for those who duno. yar. im in pj. yar. the one i dun wan da get in. but i've got no choice n since everyone is telling i'll love this school. im going to love it too. but im gettin there i think. especially when im being put into squad 21. twenty-one! it has definately helped me settle down into the school. n i love all of them! especially our 2 super-duper cute agents siewhuey n angsiang! haha. oh wait. there's another 2. our attached counsellor? wadeva the spelling. n the senior counsellor. MARIO! hah. tats not his name. but he says tat his original name is long. so we'r suppose to call him mario. he's definately fun man. haha. my water bomb buddy? =]

okay. enough of introduction. so i've been thru a few of the introductory lectures. as they call it. realise geog will be hard. n it will lead me nowhere. so im not going to take it. oh well. at least not at the h2 level. im suppose to choose the subj combi. n both i took geog as my h1 choice. had station games ytd. it got me sunburnt la. raahhh. n my face so pain now please. urghh. but nvm la. the fun has covered all these. all the rotating of pail. the throwin of water bomb at the agents. the passing of bball. n all. fun n fun! oh hey. pj has something. very very good. they provide umbrella service. haha! good ar..

ok. enough of pj. its long since i go out ! people. lets go out someday!! went back to dunearn last night. they had their sec1 orientation campfire. so we went back in tot tat we'll enjoy the whole day. we were all tired n stuff after such a long day in pj okays.. n we went without dinner. but when we entered the campfire. i had this feeling tat something gonna be wrng. n it came out true la. damn. we were like the outsiders. we culd not blend in. at all. we'r somehow neglected bahs. n the sec1s getting quite hmmm. i duno how to say. ser n sh were standing beside the sec4 leaders. n they heard the sec1 say can u all dun block us.. hmm. den dun they tink their own leaders r blocking them? oh well. ferget it. i think mr rani gave the sec4s some talk. n it sure aint gonna sound good. but i think. we will say tat the thingy aint good. most prob bcoz we'v been to great ones.. especially those mc by hafiz. so now. we'r expecting tat kind of standard.

okay. blahblahs. enough enough. think very long liao. those readin must be falling aslp by now. haha. so i'll end here. people. lets go out someday! =]

bye.
=}

torn